In Which I Explain Something To Myself

I don’t understand why.  Why?  Why do people think they can do things to people?

But I know why.  It’s not that hard to explain.  Here, let me do that for you:

Because they can.

We live in a world where we are afraid.  We are afraid of each other.  We are afraid of our own thoughts and opinions, and we’ve been taught that when someone doesn’t like them, we will get attacked.  We don’t want to be attacked, we don’t want to get hurt.  So we say what we really mean to people who agree, and we feel how we really feel when we’re alone, but as soon as it comes time to act, to walk the walk, we stay quiet.

I am guilty.

I stay quiet because, at the end of the day, I don’t care.  I do, but I can’t do anything about it in the end.  God is just, and righteous.  But He is also merciful.  I can let things go.  Who can judge?  Not I, I’m not a judge.  I don’t make the rules of what punishment should be brought upon certain crimes.  That’s God’s domain.  I don’t want to make those decisions.  Heck, I can’t even make decisions in my daily life.

It hurts, the things people do, but I have never been one to let the hurt linger.  I’m not shy about my feelings, when it matters.  I will tell people how I feel, sometimes.  I choose to either feel hurt, or not.

If The Princess Diaries taught me anything, it’s that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent (thank you Joseph, and you too, Eleanor Roosevelt).

All I need is time to think, to analyze, to process.  The time it takes to do so is getting shorter.  Is that necessarily a good thing, though?

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