Good Morning, Midnight!

Have you ever been in a confused place?  Where the best you know how, you’re doing what you think God wants you to do but you can’t get any clarity on the situation?  That’s midnight.

The Praise Party was on fire!  I’m so glad that my co-worker and her boyfriend enjoyed it.  Old folks can like this church too (jk on the old folks stuff).

I still have up my front page, year description thing (I have no idea what to call it).  And this message goes right along with how I was feeling last year (gee, that’s weird to say).

  • I will not let this year be like last year.

We say that every year, some in a positive way, (this year will be better), or in a negative way, (this year sucked).  But, seriously, I won’t let this year be like last year.  It is going to be better!  The year I stop wanting my life to improve is the year I need to re-evaluate my life.

  • This year I will prosper, I will grow, I will have more faith; and if that means I will face more adversity, bring it on, because I can’t prosper and grow if I’m not moving.

I don’t know if I did.  For a lot of us, we don’t see that we’ve grown until years down the road when we look back and see how far we’ve come.  But it sneaks up on us.

I went through adversity.  Most of it I didn’t post about, probably because it was the same ol’, same ol’ that I had been in the past years.  Most of it was probably little stuff that fell off of my back in a few days, that I didn’t feel needed mentioning.  And then there were other adversities that I shared (like the skink that bit my finger in April, or the live recording for the new album in September, or the fact that I had a lot of posts that stated that a lot of nothing happened).  And, yes, there were some adversities that I never mentioned because, maybe, I’m still dealing with them.

One of the things my pastor talked about in his message was remembrance.  That reminds me of when I went to my great grandparents’ graves.  I wasn’t around when they were, so I can’t remember them.  But I can remember what they did (according to my research on Ancestry, and what my dad can remember through his research).  They chose to come over here, to get away from whatever fighting was going on in Scotland.  And now, I’m here.  I’m here because they risked their lives.

The other post that reminds me of remembering is The Legend Of The Symphony.

I start off with remembering the pain:

  • I spent a lot of time collecting every Zelda game. Then someone had to break in and steal all of it.
    • I lost a passion that day.  I lost a love.  I couldn’t look at anything Zelda related.  I based a lot of my life around it.  Ocarina of Time is what made me start writing.  Link’s Awakening is what made me believe I was supposed to be a writer.

Then, I turned my focus to a new spark:

  • A little bit of that joy came back into my life the day I got Twilight Princess.  It had been years since I played a Zelda game, but that was a good thing.  That made this moment all the more special.
    • I got a spark back.  My love for the series came peeking out from behind the hurt and loss I built up around my feelings.  I was happy once more.
      • I bought Ocarina of Time to play on the Wii.  Talk about nostalgia.  I was a kid again.  My love poked its head out a little more, and the wall cracked.

Then, the fire:

  • I fell in love again.  The loss was restored. […]now I can look around and not remember how much I miss all of it.  Now the memories come first.
    • I sat there and cried as I remembered how much I loved the series.  I remembered the love I had when I first discovered Hyrule.  I remembered and felt like I did as a kid.

The difference between midnight and morning is the way you choose to see it.

Remember, midnight is still considered morning.  Even though it’s pitch black, it’s still morning.  It all depends on what you want to call it: midnight, or morning.

Good morning, Midnight!  And happy New Year!

 

Another Year Has Come And Gone

I’m not reflecting yet.  It’s not time for that.  I haven’t got it in me.

I sewed another dress.  It may look finished, but it’s not.  I still have some touching up to do on it.  I really like the pattern.

I went to a concert earlier in the month.  Not a lot of people showed up.  I think it was because of the place, or maybe the time of year.  I know it wasn’t people of the group (MercyMe) because everyone loves them.

I got a tinsel tree this year!  I love the colors.

Mom and I went to church on the 24th for our Christmas service.  You know, it’s been one year since we’ve been going to this church!  It’s kind of crazy.

We went to WinterFest at Liberty University.  It was alright.  Red and Andy Mineo were my favorite.  Until the speaker came up (I don’t know who it was, which is horrible because Mom and I really enjoyed him!).  He made an “alter call” for the youth, and I’m telling you, they swarmed the stage!  It was amazing!  Thankfully, we got to talk to someone who organized this part of the evening, and we got a chance to help out behind the scenes.  We went to the back rooms with the youth, and my goodness, the atmosphere was thick with healing.  The youth in this country really need some guidance.  I don’t know why I have such a heart for them, but I do.  Please pray for them.

Mom and I are headed out to our New Years service at church, and a co-worker of mine and her boyfriend are coming with us!  I’m so excited.

Well, talk to you next year!

Code Orange, Growing Church, And Omg, What Did I Do?

First thing’s first: Mom and I finally saw Pastor Steven at the home church last Saturday (third time’s the charm, right?)  It was a great message.  I loved the chill vibe he was giving off.  Saturday service is awesome.

This month, my church’s second campus opened!  Second campus here, where I live that is.  We had a little get together, everyone who moved from the first campus.  We talked about the vision and how volunteering was going to look (like, where we were going to set up, how things were going to run, all that jazz).IMG_3155

Then, it was time for Code Orange Revival.  The last one was back in 2012 (which, fun fact, was where the people who started the campus got the idea to actually start one).  Code Orange Revival is ten days of different speakers/pastors.  This year, we had Joyce Meyer, Christine Cane, John Gray, Levi Lusco, and a few others I can’t remember.  It was a very heavy, exhausting ten days.  Ten days of hearing back to back preaching, with hardly any time to process what you heard the night before.  But it was good.  At least you can go on YouTube and listen to them, after you’ve had a nice, week long nap.IMG_3214

A lady that Mom volunteers with asked if we wanted to go to the live recording of the church’s new worship album (which happened one of the ten days).  So, the four of us (including the lady’s son), drove down to North Carolina.  I have to be honest, though, it wasn’t what we expected.  We waited in line, outside, for eight or so hours, and towards the end of waiting, people kept cutting in front of us (since we got there early, we were at the front of the line).  “My friend was holding my spot,” they would say.  No, they weren’t, but if that makes you feel better, be my guest.

We got pretty good seats, a few rows up from where the pastor sits.  We could see the stage perfectly.  But, the downside was the atmosphere.  Instead of it feeling like a worship setting, it felt like a concert.  Instead of feeling like people were worshiping, it felt like people were there just to say they were there.  I felt like the band was just going through the motions, playing the same songs, the same way they played every Sunday, the same way (you have a CD with twelve songs, and yet you only play the same three every other week, rotating in which order you play them).IMG_3314

I wasn’t the only one who felt like that.  Mom and the other lady felt it too.  Her son loved it though, and that made me happy.  I don’tregret going.  I went once, I don’t have to do it again.IMG_3362

With the new campus opening, I figured this would be a great chance to do something I had been wanting to do forever: I got my hair cut.  I met a girl at church who works in a salon, so I just decided to take the plunge.  I also did something else new: I got it cut short.  I mean, it’s short.  To be honest, I didn’t like it, mostly because it was a big change. But, it’s growing on me (ba dum chh- get it?  Hair?  Growing?  On my head?).

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So, that’s it for this month.  Gee, a lot went on!  At least I had something to talk about.

Trying Something New

So, because my life doesn’t really have anything going on in it right now, I have decided to change up my posting schedule.  I’m going to post once at the end of each month, so I have something to talk about, and the whole month in one place.  I most like will not stick to this, but I’m going to try anyway.

I wanted to wait until the new year, but then I changed my mind, because I’m indecisive and I change my mind on a whim.

So, I shall see you at the end of next month.

 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year dear reader.  I hope you enjoyed how you spent it.  I know I did.  Mom and I took a bus to North Carolina to bring in the new year in church.  After the Christmas Eve service, we decided to come back and hear the pastor actually speak.  We were not disappointed.  In fact, our expectations of him were exceeded.  We were surprised at how much we enjoyed it.  I have to say, I feel weird.  I enjoyed church?  Looks like it.

That’s not a bad thing.  It’s just different.  I haven’t felt like this, so I don’t know what to do with this feeling.  I’m still guarded, which my pastor (my pastor) says is a good thing.  I mean, the Bible clearly says to guard your heart.  I’m just doing what it tells me to.

I do hope you all had a good day.  And please, let’s not allow this year to be like last year.  Let’s make it better, ok?  If you had a good year last year, let’s make this one great.

Sound good to you?  Me too!

Oh, and by the way, I’m switching what day my posts come out on. It’s been Friday for the past three years, so I’m going to change it, starting next week. It seems like the best stuff happens on Fridays, after I’ve already posted.

Ok, bye.

We’re Experiencing Some Early Turbulence

In one week and one day, I turn the big 2-5.  That’s right, I’m almost a quarter of a century old.  What am I doing with my life?

I have a friend who just turned 25 in April, and she always talked about how she wanted to change her life, how she was tired of what she was doing and she wanted to do more.

My mother said the same thing.  People, something happens at 25.  And I am experiencing it a little early.  In fact, it started on the 1st for me.  I started to really think about my life, and what was going on around me, and where I was and what I was doing.  I still am, I don’t know why I’m talking in past tense.

I definitely feel like I’m changing, especially my emotions.  I don’t know if it’s because it’s almost that time of the month, or if I really am becoming someone new.  I’m becoming more emotional.  And I’m not just talking about crying at every little thing (which I find myself doing these days), I’m talking about all of my emotions.  I’m a little little more angry at things.  I’m starting to speak my mind more, and stand up for myself.  It could also have to do with my work environment, where everyone is pretty much sarcastic, rude, blunt, and loud.  Not everyone is all of those things, but you have to posses at least one of those qualities to work there (I’m sarcastic, with a bit of bluntness).

I also want to do things.  I have had a to do list of stuff that I have always wanted to do, but am just too darn lazy to attempt.  Now, I’m starting to slowly but surely pursue these things.  I want to do more with my life than just work in a deli.  I’ll work in the deli, but I want to come to work and be like, “What did I do on my day off?  Oh, I sewed a shirt.  I made string art.  I painted a cool, abstract picture.”  Now mind you, I already go in to work and tell them how I used a chainsaw to cut down a tree stump, or I put up blinds and replaced others, or how I replaced a faucet in my bathroom.  I want there to be more to me than just a handy woman.  I want to be artsy.  I want to learn a new language (or at least enough of one to sound cool).

I want to try new things.  This is not the typical New Years resolution of, “This will be the year of trying new things.”  No, this is more than a resolution.  This is serious.  I need to get out of this slump that I’ve felt all year, and if I’m going to get out of it, I have to actually try to get out of it by doing something I’ve never done before.  Because whatever I’ve been doing, isn’t doing anything.

I’m starting to think about my life.  My future.  I’ve never thought (in-depth) about the future.  Gee, if I want to marry someone, I better get going on my writing career, because they’re not going to marry someone who just works in a deli.  Heck, I won’t let them!  Even if I don’t get married, I’m not happy with just working in a deli.  I hold myself to too high of a standard to let this be it for me.  Heck to the no!

Gosh darn it people, I’ve never been so confused, and so level-headed in my life!  It’s quite exhilarating.

Good night!  Good morning!  Good everything!

New Job…Maybe?

I still have yet to hear about my new job.  I really want move on, you know?  I’m getting antsy.  I’ve stayed here for too long.

Plus, I have experience doing this type of thing, and I loved doing it back at Dollar General.

Other than that, nothing else has happened.

I’m just trying to wait, patiently.  It’s not really going too well.

Resolute

Happy New Year!  Welcome to 2015.  This is the time when I tell you what I would like to do this year, with my life and my blog, and you politely listen and wait till I crash and burn.  Let us begin:

This is the year I turn 25.  That is a significant age.  Not just for me, but for others as well.  I have a friend who is also turning 25 this year, and she wants to change.  She’s not happy with her lifestyle, and she wants to do better.  I like my life, but I want to enhance it.

This year, I will try my hardest to get my novel, Times, editor ready.  But first, I have to rewrite about half of it.  I can do that in a year, right?  Hopefully.  But, I want to do that by June.  June?!  Yes, June.  I have six months to rewrite my story to a point where I am ready to let someone else read it.  Right now, not so much.  It’s possible.  I can see its potential underneath the pile of crap that it is.  Think of it as an Orc.  I could have very well said flower, but that’s way too expected.

This year, I also want to start my “editing business.”  And by business, I mean, I want to edit for money so I can pay for an editor and cover designer and other expenses I may come across.  Right now, my paycheck it going towards bills and food.  I don’t want to just make ends meet, you know?

These are not resolutions.  These are more than resolutions.  Resolutions have become something that people make, knowing they can’t keep them, or, expecting to not keep them.  No, these two things are things I want to be resolute towards.  I want to be admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.  I know I said I’ll crash and burn, but maybe I won’t crash as hard, and maybe the plane won’t blow up.  Maybe this year, I’ll just have a rocky landing.  Maybe this year, I’ll land with ease and grace.  Who knows?  These two things may actually happen.

And I look forward to when they do.

Good night!  Good morning!  Good everything!

Who’s That?

SONY DSCOn July 9th (last Wednesday) my mother woke me up with, “Come here, I want to show you something.”  There were four kittens on our porch, along with their mother.  The mother heard us and ran off, leaving her kittens behind.  Mom and I went outside to collect them, but they scattered in different directions.  We caught one, but decided to let it go, just in case the mother came back to get her children.  A while later, I saw a leaf move from beneath the stairs.  I went outside to find this guy.  Man was he feisty.  He put up a fight, scratched my hand, and yelled at the top of his lungs.  Mama Cat was nowhere to be found, none of them were.  We heard thunder in the distance, and I was on my way to work.  We didn’t want him to be left alone, in the rain.  So, Mom brought him in and put him in the downstairs spare bedroom.  We decided that, if Mama Cat ever came back, we’d let him go.  She didn’t come back.

It’s been a week, and he has taken to us very well.  He’s very playful, very curious, and very cute.  He sleeps behind the bookcase in our room, and he loves to sit on the table between our beds and watch the bugs.  He even loves to follow ants.

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I bet you’re wondering how Sam gets along with Shasta.  Well, I think the better question is, how does Shasta get along with Sam?

Look at the flowers Sam, look at the flowers
Look at the flowers Sam, look at the flowers

Shasta is a very good cat.  We weren’t expecting to introduce them so fast, but Shasta came into the room with us, so at least it was supervised.  He didn’t know what to think of Sam.  He basically just kept going in and out of the room, trying to figure out what to do.  What is this thing?  But now, Shasta runs after him and wrestles with him, but never hard enough to make Sam cry.  At first, Sam just kind of laid down and let Shasta carry him through the house, but now, Sam throws a few punches here and there.  He’s starting to be able to hold his own.

By the way, we named him Sam because everyone in this house has an “S” name.  We couldn’t leave him out.  But, Mom did have a great idea about naming our next cat Dean.

Welcome home, Sam!

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Un-unemployed

For the past…well, since June (eight months) I have been sitting around the house doing absolutely nothing.  One, because it was cold, and two, because I haven’t had a job.

Well, I had an interview earlier this week, which consisted of, “You’re working in the deli, when can you start?”  So, I started yesterday.  I didn’t go today because I couldn’t get out of the driveway (we just had snow).

It’s not bad!  I’m working with someone I know from highschool, so it’s been pleasant.  There are a couple more people I know from school who work in the front of the store too.  It’s nice to know people.

It’s not a hard job (yet?).  Apparently, summer is worse.  I guess I’ll see, now won’t I?  Anyway, that’s what’s going on.  Talk to you next week!