Flip hair, turn head, tilt up, squint, flip hair, tilt down, purse lips, widen eyes, part lips, look straight.
Every angle gives me sassy, sultry, alluring, cute. Someone fun to be around. Wanting to show off, I grab my camera and snap a selfie, or ten.
As I look back at the pictures, all I see is…ew. Just…ew. I delete every picture and, disappointed, I hang my head and turn to walk out. Before I do, I take one last look in the mirror.
The girl I see in the mirror, is not the girl I see in the selfie.
We live in a world where we can take a picture of ourselves, and instantly see it. We can instantly judge ourselves, and we can instantly tell ourselves that we’re something negative, and we can instantly delete it. It’s a sad reality.
As I walked away, I wondered. Who do people see: mirror me, or selfie me? Of course, we all see each other different (which is why we’re attracted to different people), but still, am I making something out of nothing? Am I deleting pictures I deem unworthy of outside eyes, yet are truly acceptable for public view?
So, like any great blogger would do, I asked Twitter.
I put out a casting call to any bloggers who would be interested in a little experiment. And you know what? It worked! After hashing out some details, I explained my idea on how this would go. And we got to work.
I posted this straight on, no makeup, no filter, no editing, selfie. Yes, I can take better pictures, but this is pretty much what I look like nine selfies out of ten.
Here’s what I said.
- I see me with ‘stoner eyes.’ I look high all the time.
- I see me totally unamused, boring, dull.
- I see me with the weirdest, pointed chin.
- I see me as blah.
Totally open, totally honest.
Reader, this did not go how I planned.
Here’s what I got in response.
- What I see is so beautiful! The colour of your eyes and the kindness reflected in it.
- I see a woman with kind eyes and lovely hair.
- I see you with lovely and sympathetic eyes. Where you see dull or “stoner eyes,” I see chill! I think you have a lovely shaped face from your forehead down to your chin!
But I got more than that.
- You’re being very honest and raw and trusting. It is so hard to put yourself out there like that. Strong!
- I see that you have 2 extra piercings on both your ears which gives me the impression that you’re cool & even the earrings you chose gives me the impression that you’re a laid-back type of person.
- Just looking at you makes me feel as though I could tell you all of my problems and you would listen. Someone that would help calm me down and see that I could make it through anything that was stressing me out.
The responses that I read everyone give each other led me to tears. I was expecting everyone to comment on physical features, and they did, but everyone went deeper. They talked about how they felt when they looked at each other, not just what they saw.
What we see does not match what others see. Give your self(ie) a chance. Don’t delete a picture just because you think it’s horrible, because chances are, it’s not.
Did you know it’s been said that other people prefer the you that they see (not the you that you see in your selfies)?
I’m not trying to tell you to love yourself more. That’s been said a million times, and it doesn’t always work. What I am trying to do, is to tell you that what you don’t like about yourself, others probably don’t see it. Or they think something different about it.
So the next time you don’t like your “stoner eyes,” just think of yourself as chill. And remember, you are so much more than a picture. You are a body with a soul, mind, and spirit.
That’s what matters.
Two of the ladies who participated, Taryn and Dawn, wrote a post to go along with this series. Under their picture, I have linked their post, and their Twitter.