Writing is hard. It is. Really. And don’t let anyone tell you any different. It’s especially hard when you’re…well, me.
I am an introvert, and I process the world much differently than other people. Being an introvert, I find that I get drained, mentally, quickly and easily. Most of the time, this is because of the job that I have.
I work in a deli in a convenient store. Now, my problem with being mentally drained doesn’t really apply so much in the down season (Fall/Winter). But once the store starts getting busy, that’s when I start getting bogged down.
Lots of commotion equals less mental energy for writing. If I have to take in a lot of information (deli orders) for a long period of time (6 1/2-8 hours), plus doing all of the work that I have to in order to close the deli (cleaning, mostly), that’s less energy I’ll have for writing when I get home.
Not only do I have to deal with deli orders and cleaning, I also have to deal with drama. Drama is a huge issue during the summer, and it often leads to me coming home in a slump, with absolutely no ambition to write anything, not even a simple blog post.
I have gone through some of my toughest writing dry spells within the past almost four years of working in this deli. I have gone months without writing even a simple note. Working and writing just never seemed to fit together. Anywhere. At all.
2012 was my last time I won NaNoWriMo. The years after that were filled with anything but words. It wasn’t until last year (2017) that I decided that I had to win. I had to make writing and working co-exist. I couldn’t let my work environment dictate how I felt about writing. I had to figure out how to make them work together.
I found a schedule. I figured out when my best writing time was, and I sat my butt down in front of my computer, and I wrote. All the crap that happened at work that day faded as I planted myself into my story. And you know what? I won!
After that, I took a hard look at my writing life, and I realized that I was being too hard on myself. I wanted to write so bad, that when I didn’t, I would beat myself up to the point where I would feel worse. It was a vicious cycle that I had to stop. Once I realized that I had devised a plan for NaNo, I had to devise a plan outside of NaNo. I had to pinpoint my plan that wasn’t working, then I had to come up with one that would.
So, I decided to not have a plan. I decided to let go, and let the supply flow.
Not having a plan saved my writing life. I feel free. I feel no pressure from myself, and that makes me want to write.
That makes me free to write.
I love writing. I love to write. It makes me happy. Whatever kind of day I have outside of my writing life, I know I can come back to this life, pressure free, and live a life I can create for myself. Yes, I live in this world, but I am not of this world. I am of the world of writing.
This post is inspired by the DIYMFA Book Club writing prompt, “Honor Your Reality”.
- If you would like to join the DIYMFA Book Club, click here.
- If you would like to learn more about the book, click here.
