Good Morning, Midnight!

Have you ever been in a confused place?  Where the best you know how, you’re doing what you think God wants you to do but you can’t get any clarity on the situation?  That’s midnight.

The Praise Party was on fire!  I’m so glad that my co-worker and her boyfriend enjoyed it.  Old folks can like this church too (jk on the old folks stuff).

I still have up my front page, year description thing (I have no idea what to call it).  And this message goes right along with how I was feeling last year (gee, that’s weird to say).

  • I will not let this year be like last year.

We say that every year, some in a positive way, (this year will be better), or in a negative way, (this year sucked).  But, seriously, I won’t let this year be like last year.  It is going to be better!  The year I stop wanting my life to improve is the year I need to re-evaluate my life.

  • This year I will prosper, I will grow, I will have more faith; and if that means I will face more adversity, bring it on, because I can’t prosper and grow if I’m not moving.

I don’t know if I did.  For a lot of us, we don’t see that we’ve grown until years down the road when we look back and see how far we’ve come.  But it sneaks up on us.

I went through adversity.  Most of it I didn’t post about, probably because it was the same ol’, same ol’ that I had been in the past years.  Most of it was probably little stuff that fell off of my back in a few days, that I didn’t feel needed mentioning.  And then there were other adversities that I shared (like the skink that bit my finger in April, or the live recording for the new album in September, or the fact that I had a lot of posts that stated that a lot of nothing happened).  And, yes, there were some adversities that I never mentioned because, maybe, I’m still dealing with them.

One of the things my pastor talked about in his message was remembrance.  That reminds me of when I went to my great grandparents’ graves.  I wasn’t around when they were, so I can’t remember them.  But I can remember what they did (according to my research on Ancestry, and what my dad can remember through his research).  They chose to come over here, to get away from whatever fighting was going on in Scotland.  And now, I’m here.  I’m here because they risked their lives.

The other post that reminds me of remembering is The Legend Of The Symphony.

I start off with remembering the pain:

  • I spent a lot of time collecting every Zelda game. Then someone had to break in and steal all of it.
    • I lost a passion that day.  I lost a love.  I couldn’t look at anything Zelda related.  I based a lot of my life around it.  Ocarina of Time is what made me start writing.  Link’s Awakening is what made me believe I was supposed to be a writer.

Then, I turned my focus to a new spark:

  • A little bit of that joy came back into my life the day I got Twilight Princess.  It had been years since I played a Zelda game, but that was a good thing.  That made this moment all the more special.
    • I got a spark back.  My love for the series came peeking out from behind the hurt and loss I built up around my feelings.  I was happy once more.
      • I bought Ocarina of Time to play on the Wii.  Talk about nostalgia.  I was a kid again.  My love poked its head out a little more, and the wall cracked.

Then, the fire:

  • I fell in love again.  The loss was restored. […]now I can look around and not remember how much I miss all of it.  Now the memories come first.
    • I sat there and cried as I remembered how much I loved the series.  I remembered the love I had when I first discovered Hyrule.  I remembered and felt like I did as a kid.

The difference between midnight and morning is the way you choose to see it.

Remember, midnight is still considered morning.  Even though it’s pitch black, it’s still morning.  It all depends on what you want to call it: midnight, or morning.

Good morning, Midnight!  And happy New Year!

 

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