I don’t care for my job. I get over-stimulated too easily, and if I’m with the wrong person, I don’t act like I know I should: calmly. There is only one person I can work with (so far).
They know I don’t like to be called the b-word, and yet the other morning, someone didn’t just call me that, but they also had to include, “You deserve it today.” Being the passive person I am, because I am unable to stand up for myself, I let it go. But it’s been bothering me since they said that. I do that too, keep things inside until I rupture and let everything out at once.
And then, they talked about how well they work with the new person. Like I’m dumb and I don’t see past your, “Well, you and I work well together, but….” I know what you mean, you don’t have to rub it in my face. We worked fine together up until this point.
I was told I’m not working with someone else because I “have a problem with them.” I told the manager that I don’t, but they insisted. Even that co-worker had an attitude with me.
And apparently, I’m a diva and one of my co-workers is a bad influence on me.
No, I’m just being myself.
What have I done? I don’t talk bad about people, I don’t gossip, I don’t call other people names. I get anxiety, overstimulated, and frustrated, but I don’t yell and scream and curse. I pretty much just keep to myself.
And now, I get sad thinking about going back to work. I would love to have a job where I can just stay at home, or choose the people I want to be around. The real world is not made for people like me.
I’ve enjoyed these last three days off. I haven’t written anything, but I have been getting more information for my murder mystery, so that’s something.
I hope to start it next week, when I have my four days off.
But first, I have to get through Saturday and Sunday.