I Don’t Like You. Why? I Don’t Know!

The first time I saw their face, I did not like them.  Has this ever happened to you?

I don’t know why I don’t like them.  Has that ever happened to you?

I just can’t put my finger on it.  And it bothers me.

So, I looked up the psychology behind this.  You better believe I did!

Well, here are some reasons I might not like this person:

  1. Seeing something in them that I don’t like about myself
  2. Life is boring- loses meaning, hoped for more
  3. Pain and/or frustration
  4. Fear/depression
  5. Lost pride- need to feel powerful and think highly of ourselves
  6. Lack of freedom to make decisions

When I first realized how much I did not like this person, I sat down with myself and I asked me, “Why do you not like them?”  “I don’t know,” I answered.  “But, there has to be a reason?”  “Well, I don’t know what it is.”

So, the next time I worked with them, I tried to control myself.  When that didn’t work, I sat down with myself again.  “Here is when you got angry, and they did this thing.  Now, why?”  “Because it was them.”  “That’s no reason to get upset.”  “But I saw their face!”

Honestly, that’s as far as I got with myself.

My life has not lost meaning, I’m not in pain, I’m not depressed (if I was, I wouldn’t even talk to them).  I haven’t lost any pride, and I can make plenty of decisions.  Now, frustration.  Yes, I get frustrated.  With this person.  Why?  I don’t know!  That’s the problem!

Even though cognition can stop an aggressive impulse…much of the connection between unpleasantness and aggression escapes our awareness.

That’s pretty much what is happening.

Now, let me address #1.  Seeing something in them that I don’t like about myself.  I’m not the only one who doesn’t care for them.  But apparently, I’m the only one who is obvious about my dislike.  The manager hasn’t gone up to someone else and said, “I hear you have a problem with this person.”

Honestly, I’m going to be honest.  I don’t treat this person any different than I do other people I work with.  And, I’ve noticed that one minute we can laugh and joke around, and the next minute I’m getting angry with them.

I think they just do stuff that pisses me off.  I’m so used to everyone else being one way, and here they come, being the complete opposite.  Those other people have set such a high standard for me, and this person doesn’t quite reach it.

I don’t have a problem with them until the end of the night.  They’re fine during the day, but the minute we close, they change.

Ok, so I know why I get mad at them at the time, but what about the other times I can’t explain?

I do get overstimulated, and anxious, and I can’t deal with certain stuff after the crowd and the noise goes away.  I do get tired and frustrated then, but even when that doesn’t happen, I still feel the same way towards this person.

I don’t know, but they complained about me sleeping on the job (which I have never done because I’m still trained from my other job to keep moving and never take breaks, so, I have no time to sleep) and the manager told me they wouldn’t schedule us together.  Thank you.

Maybe now I can ponder this and get a hold on myself.

It could just be intuition.  It could be our astrological signs colliding.  It doesn’t matter.  What matters is that it’s annoying not knowing the real reason.

If there is one.

Until next week, have a good one!

 

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