Since Mom’s seizer, I have had the pleasure of being the responsible adult, having to drive to and fro on winding and busy roads.
Let me tell you, driving is hard.
Back in highschool, I’ll say in the year 2009, I had to take a mandatory Driver’s Ed class in order to meet the requirements in order to test for my permit. Praise the Lord, I passed. But I never drove because I was scared, and because I road the buss to school. But even after school, I hated driving, and had no intention of making that a priority in my life.
After it expired, I didn’t have to think about having the option to drive. Unfortunately, it was at a time when I had a job and depended on my neighbor to drive me. I had no freedom. I wanted the freedom, but I didn’t want it bad enough to get my permit, I suppose.
Fast forward to last year, when my grandmother was still alive. Her friends kept telling me that I needed my license, and I would just nod politely or shrug my shoulders, not wanting to have anything to do with driving.
These roads have hills and curves. Lots of ’em. While I was in school, there was a really bad accident where the driver went too fast around a curve. The accident killed all four passengers. Another accident killed both the driver and the passenger. Accident after accident seemed to happen, some people died while some were badly injured. It scared me into not wanting to drive.
But, one of my grandma’s friends made me take the test to get my permit (which I passed 100%). Everyone got off my back, but I still never drove. These roads were still scary.
Then when we got the news that Mom can’t drive for six months, I freaked out. I would have to drive. Going up to the store was as close to a panic attack as I ever want to be. There are people on the road. Yikes.
As I was driving yesterday, on a main road following and being followed by others, I stopped at a stop sign and a stop light, I pulled into a gas station, I parked, I used the correct turn lanes, and my turn signal, and I went around curves at the same time as other cars without slowing down. These are all milestones for me, some bigger than others. I have found that I actually like driving. My mother is making less nervous body movements than she has been, which also makes me less nervous.
It’s still scary, I’m still nervous, but I’d be worried if I wasn’t. Driving isn’t something to take lightly. Fear keeps us in check. A little bit of fear goes a long way, in a good way. But at least I’m not letting it get to me, I’m not letting it hinder me into not trying to go farther than I have (like the highway. Next time I have the opportunity, I think I’ll take it).
And that is my evolution in driving. Now, to take the test to get my license…after I master the highway.