I’ve been in a, “Let’s stay home and do nothing” mood lately. And that’s exactly what we did. We went to WalMart and Food Lion, but that’s it. The rest of the time was changing the sheets on Grandma’s bed, going through her dresser, going through pictures, finishing a puzzle that took Mom and I 9 months to finish (we’ve been a little busy). And when we weren’t doing any of those things, we were watching Criminal Minds. LOTS of Criminal Minds. That seems to be my escape lately, a show about serial killers and abducted children. Murderers, psychopaths, arsonists. I’m pretty addicted to that show.
Mom’s told me I’ve been restless these past few days. I feel like I am. Every time she moves, I hear her. I never hear her. I’ve been staying up late too. I used to go to bed at 11 or 12. Now it’s 2:30 or 3. It’s not that my brain is going fast or anything, I just can’t sleep (and don’t tell me it’s because of that show. I’ve been watching it like this since June or July).
I wish I had more to say. Um…I cut my hair? I moved my bangs from one side of my face to the other? NaNoWriMo is coming up in exactly three weeks (yikes)? The Walking Dead starts on Sunday (yay!)?
That’s all. Oh, the memorial for my grandma is next Wednesday. My mom is mad at me because I watched Glee and I cried more for Cory than I did my own grandma. Sorry Mom, I really am. I think she’s holding it again me. One day, she tells me she feels the same way that I do. The next, she’s pointing out that I haven’t shed one tear for my grandma. I know, and it’s eating me up. Am I cold? Heartless? Insensitive? I don’t know! I just… I’m just…not feeling much right now. I’m sad, but I’m just not crying. Hey, you could always blame Dad for telling me crying is stupid. But, I don’t think he’s the reason for this. Now, if I was incapable of showing any emotion, then I’d be worried. I can’t tell her I don’t feel anything. I already have, and the longer I don’t feel anything, I think she’s going to be that much more upset. Please, let me be wrong. I don’t want her to hold this over my head forever. And I surely don’t want to fake it.
Well, here’s to another week. Talk to you guys next Friday.