Holding The Key

I posted a video a last Saturday (the 20th) about how I feel like I’m “just living.”  I talked about how I go to bed, get up, go work, come home, and do that all over again.  And then I: go to a concert and volunteer, I go to the Nashville Film Festival and volunteer and see a movie about GMOs (genetically modified organisms.  Basically, when we eat stuff, we’re consuming Round Up.  It’s a really great movie called GMO OMG.)  And then I went to another concert, and I’ll be going out of town and I’ll be doing this, and that, and that other thing…

Hey, talking about your problems really helps…  I seriously felt like I had opened up the door to busyness.

Anyway, I don’t feel like I’m “just living” anymore.

Speaking of!

So, there is a key holder at work (key holder is just below assistant manager) who… isn’t… the best… (to be honest, none of them are, in my opinion).  Well, I told Manager that I would like the position.  Things have happened in the last couple of days to kind of hint to her that I should be the key holder.  Which makes me very happy.

Now, I like this key holder.  She is very good at the register.  And she told me that the manager before this one limited her on what she knows how to do, and that makes the new manager not care for her.  I just shrug and thank God that I was blessed to start out working for Neighbor, and that he took the time to give me a chance.

I’m scared.  Yea, I don’t know how I’ll be.  Yea, it’s a lot of responsibility that I don’t know how to deal with… because I don’t have to, right now.  I’m not in that position.  But, I do have an awesome manager and assistant manager who are so nice and are willing to work with me.  So, I’ll know I’ll be alright.  But, just the thought of being in a position of authority “scares” me.  I will be “over” people.  In a sense, in a small sense, I will be in charge of them, accountable of them, you know?  Eek.  I’m not bossy, I’m not forceful, I’m not an “in charge” type person… because I’ve never had to be.  I’ll learn, I’ll have to be that type of person, but I pray to Jesus that He doesn’t allow me to get mean.  Oh Lord, don’t let me get mean.  I probably won’t be, because I’m not, but I know I’ll want to be listened to, and I can’t go to someone and say, “They won’t listen to me.”  All they’ll say is, “You have to make them listen to you,” or some crap like that.  I’m passive, I’m soft, I’m not…key holder material.  And that is exactly why I want to be a key holder, to not be passive.

I’m looking forward to seeing if Manager does give me that position, or if she’ll hire someone else (which has happened before).  I’m tired of feeling like I should be more, and not being more, you know?

Well, that’s my blog post for this week.  Stay turned to see if I do get the position (I probably won’t know for a couple of months though).

Have a great day!

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