Age

“You don’t act your age.  You act older.”

I turned 22 on Wednesday.  Oh, did I really?  I don’t know.  Did I even turn 21?  Sure, I might have lived on this earth for 22 years, and that might make me 22, but am I really?  I feel like I’m 18.  I’ve felt like that for 4 years.  I think I stopped aging.  On the other hand, I do in fact act older.

You see, I think when I was younger, I had to grow up pretty fast.  And now that I don’t have to grow up so fast, I haven’t.  I’ve always felt more mature than people my own age.  Still do (sorry all you 20 somethings).  I was at work, and this guy asked me how old I was.  At the time, I was 21.  He told me that I act older.  I do.  I’ve been through a lot, I know a lot, I understand a lot, my standards are high and my tolerance is low.  This is my personal recipe.

I don’t think I’ll ever act my age.  I certainly won’t think like my age either.  As long as I’m always growing, my age will never catch up to my mind.  In either direction.

I don’t act my age either.  I act like a child.  I act like a free, love-sick teenager.  Sometimes I find it sad, and I tell myself I need to grow up.  But then I realize that I have, and this is my time to live like I was supposed to.  My mind is older, my personality is younger.  My life is just right.

I don’t dread my birthday.  I don’t worry about getting older, because I never feel like I do.  I feel the same way now that I did on Tuesday.  This is why I pray that I find someone who is a child.  Who acts like they’re twenty when they’re thirty, but who is so wise that I wonder about them.  I wonder what else is hidden, I’m inspired by them.  It will happen.

If you think you’re old, chances are, you are.  I forget sometimes how old I am, because I don’t show myself my age.  I have a feeling that I’ll keep being 21 for a while.  I don’t know.  I never have, and I pray that I never will.

I’m sorry that I made it something complicated.  I am ready now, it’s not too late.

Every day I’m learning, it’s all about returning.  I’m living my life with childlike faith.

Stay young my friends.