My Kitten

I know I said I was going to talk about the Bill of Rights, but I don’t want to.  I want to talk about my life right now.

Lately, I have been asked if I’m married or if I have kids.  I think, and no offense, but I think it’s because of the place in which I work.  Let me just say, it’s surprising that a 21-year-old female doesn’t have kids.

With that being said, still, it’s been happening a lot.

Something happened at one time.  I don’t know when though, but all of a sudden I wanted to be in a relationship.  15-year-old me would probably think I’m crazy, but I’m not 15 anymore.  Sure I may want to be with someone, but I want to be with the right someone.  I’m not super desperate that I’ll just be with the next guy that says “Hello” to me.

But, anyway, where was I going with this?  By the way, I’m not trying to be mean or talk bad about anyone.  I’m just telling you how I feel.  I’m just telling you about me.

Whenever I have seen myself in a relationship–either married or otherwise–I have imagined myself with someone who comes and goes.  Someone who is home for a while, but then leaves for a long time. I definitely like to be alone, but I’d also like to know someone is there, you know?  So I really like the idea.  Notice I said ‘idea’.  It’s easy to imagine something, not knowing how you will truly feel if and when you are put in the situation.

Where am I going with this?  Ah yes.  So my mother, who I live with as I’m sure most of you know, is out of town this week.  A whole week.

Shasta is the cutest kitten.  All he does is eat, sleep, and play.  He wakes up and plays for about an hour, then goes to sleep for about a half an hour, then wakes up, eats, then plays again.  And on top of that, I have my two bunnies that I have to take care of.  I let them out when I come home from work, and I have to watch them carefully, because they don’t really care for Shasta.

When I sit down and Shasta climbs into my lap and falls asleep, I don’t want to move to wake him.  When I go into another room, I pick him up and carry him with me.  I have to know where he is before I leave, and even in the middle of the night (if I wake up).

What am I trying to say?  Things have been strange lately.  I’ve been asked so many “strange” questions.  Am I married?  Do I have kids?  Can I see myself getting married?  Do I even want kids?  And, being alone for a week is allowing me to figure out what I want and where I am in life and what I need to have or do before taking another step forward.  Am I ready?  Does God think I’m ready?  For what?

This week has given me some time to relax and “meditate” and wonder and dream and see where I am in life.  I absolutely love it.  And it has given me time to think, “What am I doing?  What am I doing now?  What am I doing next?”  I have come to the conclusion that…I don’t know…yet.

Plus, I really wanted to show you all my new kitten.

This post is just…it has no meaning.  All I’m trying to say is, I’ve done some thinking, and I have a kitten.

0-p00000000 ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/……………………//////////// He wanted to say hello…in kitten talk.