I know I said I was going to talk about the Bill of Rights, but I don’t want to. I want to talk about my life right now.
Lately, I have been asked if I’m married or if I have kids. I think, and no offense, but I think it’s because of the place in which I work. Let me just say, it’s surprising that a 21-year-old female doesn’t have kids.
With that being said, still, it’s been happening a lot.
Something happened at one time. I don’t know when though, but all of a sudden I wanted to be in a relationship. 15-year-old me would probably think I’m crazy, but I’m not 15 anymore. Sure I may want to be with someone, but I want to be with the right someone. I’m not super desperate that I’ll just be with the next guy that says “Hello” to me.
But, anyway, where was I going with this? By the way, I’m not trying to be mean or talk bad about anyone. I’m just telling you how I feel. I’m just telling you about me.
Whenever I have seen myself in a relationship–either married or otherwise–I have imagined myself with someone who comes and goes. Someone who is home for a while, but then leaves for a long time. I definitely like to be alone, but I’d also like to know someone is there, you know? So I really like the idea. Notice I said ‘idea’. It’s easy to imagine something, not knowing how you will truly feel if and when you are put in the situation.
Where am I going with this? Ah yes. So my mother, who I live with as I’m sure most of you know, is out of town this week. A whole week.
Shasta is the cutest kitten. All he does is eat, sleep, and play. He wakes up and plays for about an hour, then goes to sleep for about a half an hour, then wakes up, eats, then plays again. And on top of that, I have my two bunnies that I have to take care of. I let them out when I come home from work, and I have to watch them carefully, because they don’t really care for Shasta.
When I sit down and Shasta climbs into my lap and falls asleep, I don’t want to move to wake him. When I go into another room, I pick him up and carry him with me. I have to know where he is before I leave, and even in the middle of the night (if I wake up).
What am I trying to say? Things have been strange lately. I’ve been asked so many “strange” questions. Am I married? Do I have kids? Can I see myself getting married? Do I even want kids? And, being alone for a week is allowing me to figure out what I want and where I am in life and what I need to have or do before taking another step forward. Am I ready? Does God think I’m ready? For what?
This week has given me some time to relax and “meditate” and wonder and dream and see where I am in life. I absolutely love it. And it has given me time to think, “What am I doing? What am I doing now? What am I doing next?” I have come to the conclusion that…I don’t know…yet.
Plus, I really wanted to show you all my new kitten.
This post is just…it has no meaning. All I’m trying to say is, I’ve done some thinking, and I have a kitten.
0-p00000000 ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/……………………//////////// He wanted to say hello…in kitten talk.